The Xbox One is out and Microsoft PR is being… weird. Microsoft has made a “fill in the blank” letter describing how awesome the Xbox One is hoping you will send it to your family. Your family will then be so overwhelmed by your sincerity and use of lists that they will have no choice but to buy you an Xbox One. Or, at least that is what Microsoft hopes.
Despite the obvious arguments of exploitation of your family, this letter is actually pretty funny. While you can not fill every blank with “Butts,” which is truly the highest form of Mad Libs humor, some of the selections are actually pretty amusing. At least one person at Microsoft had to know how goofy this idea was and filled it with a few jokes. You can try to write your own letter here, just please do not send it to anyone you love.
Oh, and I replaced every blank possible with Butt or Butts, because I had to –
Hey Butt,
Not sure if you’ve heard, but Xbox One is now available. That means we can start playing games like Butts: Butt Party. I know, I know. You’d rather Butt than watch me Butts, but hear me out on this. Xbox One is actually for both of us. Seriously.
I put together a list of reasons why the console could benefit you and me—together and apart, but mostly together:
- Games! Maybe you don’t LOVE games like I do, but there’s really something for everyone. While I’m playing Buttlanders BUTT Force, you might like Butt games. And since you were just begging me to Butt, I’m willing to play Butts: Butt Party just with you. It’s a win-win!
- Entertainment for both of us. You love Butts and I love Butts. Well, with the Xbox One, we can love both. We can catch your favorite Butt AND check out my favorite Butts. Just think of all this togetherness we’re going to experience. It’s gonna be awesome!
- It will help us get fit. The console offers Xbox Fitness free with Xbox Live Gold through December 2014* so I can get Butt you’ve always dreamed of, while working out to Butts .
- Play with others. You’ve been encouraging me to Butts and it just so happens that Xbox One has the best multiplayer service that filters out Butts. So don’t you worry. If we get an Xbox One, I’ll be Butts in no time.
- We can talk on Skype with your Butt whom, of course, I love dearly. Heck, we can even talk to them while we watch your favorite Butt event.
So what do you say? Let’s be like an awesome movie montage—just me, you, and my our Xbox One—together at last.
Xoxo,
Me
p.s. Did I mention how Butts you are? And how I really appreciate that you Butt me to sleep?
p.p.s If (or should I say when) we get Xbox One, you have dibs on the first Butt that we experience together.
p.p.p.s Long story short: I really, really, really want one for the holidays—y’know… for us.
