In spite of April tomfoolery, Activision steamed forward and stealth released a new DLC pack for Call of Duty: Ghosts. The DLC, named Actual Ghosts, does not have a price but rather runic symbols that feel familiar despite being untranslatable. We can expect to see a patch soon though as we are hearing cases of a glitch that causes your system to scream ceaselessly upon downloading Actual Ghosts.
It contains 666 new maps, 664 of them being a single cell that your character is trapped in. The other players are in similar cells hanging on chains from an unknown origin. In a strange design choice, aim and shoot controls have been removed in lieu of “raise hands” and “weep” buttons. New perks include “Will to live” and the ability to trade your knife out for a cup you can rattle against the bars.
The other two maps are still a mystery. Early reports suggest that playing in them causes your TV to whine slightly before going blank completely. Whether this is also a bug or an intentional decision is yet to be seen.
The press release for Actual Ghosts goes into detail about the proper skinning of turtles for quite some time. Bobby Kotick is quoted within, saying: “Woah, was that a ghost?” and “Shit son, that was a ghost!” The rest of the press release is various pictures of distorted Call of Duty characters.
We received a code for DLC (Thank goodness for Ctrl+V) and have been playing it for several hours now. While the cell levels are not what you might call “fun” they are certainly interesting. There is almost a sense of camaraderie between you and the other players as you all bitterly cry at different intervals. Once we even had the entire party use the cup against the bars and the joy was almost detectable.
The review may be a ways off as my TV just went out as well as the rest of the lights. I don’t remember any company staying upstairs but there certainly seems to be someone up there. Be sure to stay tuned to L̻͙̞̫͞e̛̠̩͉v҉̘̰̦͍͍̞͉é͈̲̖̺l͘S͡a̛̰̗̫v̴e͎͠ for more updates.
