Saints Row 4 Commander in Chief Preorder Bonuses Announced

Thought Saints Row 4 could not get any more ridiculous? Think again! In their pledge to allegiance, Deep Silver and Volition have announced the Commander in Chief pack for Saints Row 4. This fiscal stimulant, which you receive by preordering the game, includes three digital items-

• The Screaming Eagle Jet – A true symbol of American freedom and Democracy. Look out terrorists, this eagle has its eye on you!
• The Uncle Sam Outfit – My campaign manager has advised me not to use the phrase. “Woooooooo!” Followed by a string of expletives.
• The ‘Merica Weapon – My campaign manager has also advised me not to discuss, in detail, the erection this gun gives me. So instead I will leave you with this wholly unrelated adjective: Throbbing.

My fellow Americans, I am more than a little excited about Saints Row 4. I loved every second of the 3^rd game, and this one already sounds better than the sound of freedom. You start off as the president of the United States and must defend your glorious shores from the alien invaders. And no, this is not an immigration policy gone wrong, literal aliens take over and put you in a quasi-Matrix scenario… of terror.

Saints Row 4 comes to store shelves, August 20^th. Will you be picking it up? Did you enjoy the 3^rd game? Is this what the Supreme Court expected when they solidified games as art?