Octodad is an absolute blast to play. The one complaint I could levy against it is its length. Flopping around as Octodad is so much fun that it is probably natural to to want even more of it. But just as you are getting into the Octogroove, the game ends.
So what is a gamer to do? You can only mow the lawn so many times before it is just as tedious as actually mowing the lawn. Looks like it is time for the DLC then! What? No DLC has been announced? Looks like it is time for wild speculation and dream crafting then!
Octodad in Space – Let us begin by jumping the shark, that way everything else seems more plausible.
Multiple times throughout the game, space and aliens are mentioned, albeit never directly. Subtle allusions from your wife in the main game leave easy avenues for this DLC to occur. While on some writing assignment she is abducted by abyss-dwellers and it is your job to save her. Build a rocket ship from parts you find around the neighborhood. Travel to the moon and flop around in low gravity. Destroy the space armada in a final conflict with the alien leader, Space Octodad.
Octomom – Before there was Octodad, he had an Octomom, no not that Octomom. In this touching origin story we are given the story of Octomom, Nurturing Mother, Hidden Mollusk. Living in the Great Depression she is forced onto land to eke out a living. Why does an octopus need money? It is a videogame, that is why.
Through the story she falls in love with a rich man who takes her in and provides for her. There is trouble in paradise after their first child is born horribly deformed. In reality he a perfectly healthy octopus but the rich Businessdad does not understand and takes to drinking. In the final confrontation you have to carry your child away from the abusive father and fling him off a bridge into the ocean. Tears would swell in Octokid’s eyes as the silhouette of Bussinessdad appears behind his mother in a lightning flash and the screen fades to credits.
The War – Just like the aliens, there are several allusions to “The War” in Octodad. It seems like (I could be totally off base though) Octodad and The Chef fought together sometime in this mysterious war. The DLC would place you in the happy shoes of Octokid on the day he receives the draft notice.
The following levels would put you through boot camp alongside The Chef, teaching you how to properly clean and shoot a gun. Octokid’s demeanor slowly changes as he is thrown into battle after battle, with he and The Chef frequently being the only survivors. Eventually this leads to him going rogue, putting on a bandana, a burbling something about vengeance. In a Metal Gear Solid style sneaking mission you squirm into the main enemy’s base to fight the final boss, leader of the bad guys, Businessdad.
While I am partial to my own wild speculation the internet has a few of its own ideas concerning The War. One theory posits that The War is the Cod Wars which were over Icelandic fishing rights and did take place around the fictional timeline of Octodad. Others include a theory that Octodad is related to the Old Ones. This theory helps explain his children and a lot of the crazy things that The Chef spouts off. Whatever The War was, it would be fun to squiggle around in it.
Octoberdad – It is Halloween time in Octodad’s world and everyone is getting ready for the festivities. Before you can host The Annual Octodad Family Halloween Bash, you must prepare. Throw paper into the trees, carve a pumpkin, and spray your house in preparation for the eggs. But wait, your house is ready, but you totally forgot your costume! Now it is a race against the clock to cobble together an outfit from things you find around the house.
You mange to complete your costume but in your haste you accidentally summoned a horde of zombies. Octodad explains the whole process in an internal dialogue of Octish.
You do not notice the zombies until you take your children out to trick-or-treat. After safeguarding them through their spooky sugar snatching it is time to go throw The Annual Octodad Family Halloween Bash. But what about the zombies you ask? Well if you spoke Octish you would know that they are going to disappear at midnight. All you have to do is keep everyone safe in your house until the clock strikes twelve. Party your eight socks off and keep the fun going with party games like “Board up all the windows” and “How good is everyone with a gun?”
The game would end with the credits rolling over a video of Octodad and the zombies reenacting the entirety of the Thriller music video.
A Very Octodad Christmas – The wintery holidays are upon us and Octodad is feeling the spirit of the season. Like every year you have waited too long to get the presents and so you now must face the seasonal shoppers with squiggly resolve. While at the mall you cause a series of toy avalanches that eventually crush the store provided Santa.
After being rushed to the hospital the store Santa reveals a wonderful secret: he is the real Santa! He is too injured to make Christmas this year and he charges you with the responsibility of being Santa. Don the robe and hat and travel the globe as Octosanta, breaking into houses and delivering joy to all children. Try not to make too much noise though as the unbelieving parents might think you are a burglar.
The final house you must deliver to is your own. Wrapped with worry, your family has been up all night long. When you wriggle down the chimney they are both surprised and delighted. You walk towards you kids, a present in each tentacle, and find yourself under the mistletoe with your wife. The screen fades away and back onto the real Santa who winks into the camera.
The Basement – Just like The War and aliens, there is talk of “The Basement.” The main game never gives you the chance to explore this manly domain and I very much want to. The exciting thing about the basement is that there could be anything in there, or nothing at all. All games could reach their apex with the addition of Octodad’s Man Cave. The basement is all there is, ever was, and there shall be nothing beyond it. The Basement is love, The Basement is joy, The Basement is you, and The Basement is me.
For context it is important to note that the original Octodad had a basement level you could play.
Octodad on the Job – It is never explained what Octodad does for monetary fulfillment and for the purpose of this theoretical DLC, it does not matter. Whatever that job was, he just lost it and is now on the hunt for another. The DLC would be a series of vignettes chronicling his failures at each job.
Be a fireman; slide down poles and save kittens from burning buildings. DJ at a bumping club. Try your “hand” at cooking excellent cuisine at a fancy restaurant. Fight off bears and goats as a member of the forest service. Try your hand at undercover cop work, complete with a fake mustache over his tentacle mustache. As a game developer just smash your tentacle against a keyboard for a while until a game comes out. Even run for public office against the anitocto-patriarchy.
A public official job would probably suit a spineless mollusk the best, so I imagine he would stick with that.
Those are some of our ideas for Octodad DLC. What are some of yours? What job do you think would sever Octodad the best? What do you think is in The Basement? Are there any other holiday tropes Octodad could be a part of? Let us know in the comments.