This is going to be a very, very good summer. “WHY IS THAT KENNY!? YOU HANDSOME SEX BEAST!?’ You may ask, well, as it turns out, our buddies over at Firaxis are gearing up to release another expansion for Civilization 5, titled, “A Brave New World”. So what is being put into the proverbial game hopper? Allow me to copy and paste the press release Lemmie see…
1: Nine new Civilizations are going to be on tap, along with their respective units and buildings, including Casimir III (That’s my favorite Led Zeppelin record!) of Poland.
2: International trade routes will be established, allowing all your free market capitalist types to get your enterprising freak on. You will be able to send food and gold to the far reaches of the world, where trade with nations over longer distances will provide a bigger payoff than if you decide to do short hauls to nearby cities and capitals. All of this will help advance your technologies and whatnot, ya know, in case you feel like being a superpower or something…
3: World Congress is basically a digital U.N. (and probably an actually effective one!) that will allow you to ally yourself with city states and unite in a diplomatic effort to ward off the threat of rogue states, through voting processes and the like. You will also be able to determine locations of the World Games, and vote on whether or not to drop the big portabello over a state that is becoming an imminent threat.
4: More Wonders and new scenarios to enjoy, along with the Cultural Victory! Swing your big, sophistication-infused d**k in front of the whole world by being the first to bring to world such wonders like…Broadway(?), the Parthenon, and the Uffuzi. Go ahead and Google the last two things, I sure as hell did. Also, new scenarios are going to be available, like the American Civil War! Party like it is 1865 and kill some Confederate scum! ‘Murica!
Brave New World is slated for this summer, no word yet if it will infuse the Utopia project with a secret ending where your leader ends up whipping his/herself to the point of suicide after a drug fueled existence (It’s in something called a “book” kids, Google it!).
