Blocky Fists and Crossdressing: Final Fantasy 7 for Download on PC.

EXTRA EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT! 15 YEAR OLD JAPANESE ROLE PLAYING GAME AVAILABLE FOR DIGITAL DOWNLOAD. FANS OF SAID GAME WONDER WHY THE HELL IT ISN’T A REMAKE! In all honesty I am surprised it took Square this long to release Final Fantasy 7 as a digital download. Only because they were busy doing other stuff, you know like making f’n games that aren’t old as ass like Final Fantasy 8,9,10,11,12,13,14, not to mention the numerous spin-offs and side projects all while making moves like merging Enix in the process. For those of you too young to remember, Final Fantasy 7 was THE role-playing experience to have back in the good old days of the Playstation One. It was praised highly for its ambitious direction that included a compelling (albeit a bit broken) narrative, a cast of memorable characters, set in the backdrop of a somewhat bleak steam punk setting, and given a triumphant voice via the brilliance of the soundtrack provided by the legendary Nobuo Uematsu. It was a game for the ages and has since been revered for years with many fans clamoring for a remake to bring the tale to the modern masses of today. This digital download release for the PC is not that remake however.

This is not to say that this game is a straight port. There will be a few additions that will be brought to the proverbial table. First are the achievements, 36 of them in fact that you can compare with other players and find out who is the ULTIMATE FF7 FAN! (Hint:It sure as hell ain’t you). Next up are cloud saves. Cloud Saves? More like Cloud Strife Saves Nobody! Am I right guys?! Too soon? Ok, then moving on. The last addition that is listed is the slightly curious,”Character Booster” which basically maxes your HP, MP and Gil (in other words, money) which allows you to just stroll through the game. Square is angling this as just a way to enjoy your experience without getting stuck, I look at this as “Hey you want to go play this and avoid 80 percent of your time with the game?” For the love of all that is Holy (see what I did there?) avoid this.

Now if you never played FF7 before, feel free to buy it on Square Enix’s download service. Also go into it knowing that this game was released at a time when the internet was just starting to find its feet so approach it as more of a historical curiosity than anything, and a decent one at that. For those of you who played it when you were 12, get your denial hat on because you will be wearing it while comparing your nostalgia with the reality. The game does not have an updated look, but here is to the fine folks who can install such things (see video below). So are you all excited? Are any of you who never played even remotely interested? Comment below then, damnit!