“Like I always tell em, ‘You can be as crazy as you want, but once you try to kill me, I’m gonna stop calling.'” – actual game quote
Serious Sam 3 takes the series back to the styling and gameplay of the original. (A good thing, if you ask me. I didn’t like the cartoony style of the second one.) Despite the name, however, “serious” the game is not. Sam Stone consistently delivers so-bad-they’re-good one-liners throughout the game. Characters and dialogue are hyper-stereotypical and ultra-macho to the point of parody. (I hope it was intentionally humourous anyway…) Enemies include haunted space skeletons, cyclopic space gorillas, giant brains with faces on mechanical legs, and headless zombies. Ever-screaming headless zombie suicide bombers make their proud return as well. BFE actually stands for Before First Encounter, indicating that the game takes place before the events of the first in the series.
This game is a twitch shooter. It’s not about cover, out-thinking, or out-flanking your enemies, it’s about killing them fast enough that you’re not overwhelmed by the tide of foes. Consequently, most weapons are accurate, powerful, and responsive. (With the exception of the shotgun, where the shot all seems to turn at right angles after exiting the barrel, meaning it’s only really effective when you’ve got the business end actually touching the enemy.) Health, armour, weapons and powerups are scattered around levels, and players often need to resupply on the run (literally) to survive.
The entire game is set in Egypt, where the Time Lock is located. This means lots of sand. Environments are almost exclusively restricted to the ares around ancient ruins, inside ancient ruins, destroyed city slums and desert. Most areas are just big open arenas with some structures or obstacles scattered around them, and these are the most exciting and entertaining levels in the game. Hordes of enemies come from all sides, and it usually takes everything you’ve got to survive. It’s clear that the developers made an effort to diversify their level design, but these indoor sections tend to be much slower and less interesting. Fortunately they are comparatively few and brief. If you are an archaeologist, or someone who cares about preserving cultural artifacts, this game will make you cry.
Anthropology!
Can’t make an omelet…
…without leveling a few ancient ruins.
Between Sam and all the enemies, it seemed like about half of the ancient ruins in Egypt (and a bridge) were leveled. (While in game, however, you’re less concerned with the fact that the irreplaceable statue you’re hiding behind was destroyed, and more with the fact that the rockets that destroyed it haven’t let up.)
Serious Sam 3 is set to a pretty decent soundtrack. Atmospheric Middle Eastern drum and horn music fills the spaces between the charged metal combat music. Unfortunately, this music can rarely be heard over all the enemies, each of which makes quite a bit of noise. Kleer (haunted space skeletons) make a galloping sound, zombies constantly yell “HHHRRROOOGH!”, cave demons (space monkies) make a screeching sound, and the giant angry robotic brains with rocket launchers make a mechanical stamping noise. And that’s not mentioning the the kamikazes, who yell “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” constantly. Zombies don’t need to stop for breath, apparently. It’s nice to know what you’re facing even if you can’t see it, but in some of the larger fights the amount of yelling enemies gets a bit ridiculous.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Plot in the game is fairly extraneous: like the glue in a macaroni picture, it’s only there to hold the constituent elements together. While I’m normally one for a complex and involved plot, in this case I would have been perfectly happy with, “ALIENS! Here’s your gun.” (It’s actually not too far from this.) I will admit though, the ending did catch me by surprise. Never seen a game to that one before…
If you’re looking for some fast-paced adrenal FPS gameplay, check out Serious Sam 3.
