Giving Up Gaming 5 – Your Cool Uncle

So, let’s rap. If I were a cool uncle (I’m an uncle, just not a cool one) I’d pull a chair up and sit on it backwards. Let’s talk about how uncle is maybe not the best person. In my last post I went on a tirade, a weird one.

If social media has taught me one thing, it’s that you put your best foot forward on the internet. It’s a highlight reel of your life, most times. This… this is not that. This series for me is not a highlight reel, it’s an unaltered stream of development. I want to better myself and be more than what I currently am. There are some growth pains in the process. Case in point: the last article.

It may just have been about me.

I don’t actually know though. I’ve not read it since the last time I proofread it. I did the same thing with that dang Batman article. For weeks I couldn’t even stand to read it. Sure, I read and responded to the comments, but not the actual article. I had put something of myself up there, something intensely negative. It hurts to think that I even let that last post out, but I’m not going to take it down. If I’m going to grow I can’t erase what I might consider a mistake.

I have a feeling that very few will stick with me on this journey. It’s not easy and uplifting material. What I put down here is usually very raw and very difficult for me. It seems so silly to say that in a post entitled “Giving up Gaming” but games were so much of who I was. And that’s depressing.

If I’m being perfectly honest with myself, the want to play games is overbearing. I’m in control there, I’m in charge. Out here it is such a struggle to accomplish anything. It’s so much easier to sink into a game and accomplish a set of predefined tasks. The world is messy, no predefined tasks, and the ones that do exist very rarely come with a dopamine hit upon completion.

But I’m doing better, I’m focusing my attention and boredom into more productive tasks. Such as my job.

The other day I was asked to fill out a management interest form. No dopamine hit but it was a confidence booster. The grocery business may not seem interesting to everyone but there is good money in it. My wife and I are trying to save up for a down payment on our first house and being raised to management wages would make that happen much faster. It’s one of those messy, undefined goals that require so many small steps along the way that it’s hard to gauge my progress.

Break time!

Here’s a question that I’ll throw into the ether. I know the answer but I feel everyone might benefit from discussion. I was asked, very matter-of-factly how I “sucked up to the boss so well” at work the other day. It blindsided me because I’ve never had to deal with that question. The question came from an associate who is dissatisfied with their position and angry at my ability to continue upwards. I know I should ignore it. So my actual question is; have you ever had to deal with something like that? What did you do?

Ok, break’s over!

Even things that are actually quantified, such as my attempts to learn Spanish, are difficult to understand. I’m learning through DuoLingo and according to it I have over 1,000 XP in Spanish. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!? I know more Spanish now and can use it more accurately than I ever have before but still that’s not much. So what has 1,000 XP earned me? Nothing I guess, it’s not a good indicator of my progress because I could just complete the first lesson 100 times to gain that. Gamifying skills needs a few more years of development.

And speaking of games, I did have a chance to squeeze some game time in. I’ve slowed down on Pokemon but did play some. Omega Ruby may be the best Pokemon game ever released but I am finding it hard to beat. There is tons of new content but since I collected them all the carrot on the proverbial stick is much smaller. I know I will end up buying the next one on day one, despite having no steam for it now, because I am an idiot.

I also played some Duke Nukem 3D which was a blast. My brother and I both grew up with Duke Nukem as a centerpiece of our gaming lives. He lives several states away but thanks to the miracle of the internet we were both 12 years old again. It was a bit of pure fun that many games these days lack. If 3D Realms, or whoever owns Duke now, just released expansions for Duke 3D I would buy every one. Because I am an idiot.

Anyway. I want to apologize for the week late post. These are far harder to do than I expected. Hopefully I come out the other end with more answers than questions. Until then I hope you enjoy this ride with me. If you do, or don’t, you can let me know. You can tweet at me, @Snickelsox, or send an email to [email protected], or just leave a comment in the comments.